Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Man and His Machine
So I discovered that my car only stopped working because something knocked the killswitch in the trunk, and it's not broken or anything. Still, I'm not going back to that thing. I've moved on. I'm driving the corvair van, now, for better or for worse. I've taken all my trash out of the sable, and I have removed Geoffrey, my dashboard buddy. He's a dragon that blinks. Lina says he looks more like a Charlie, but that's beside the point. I've left my car for another. I had some good times with the it, and we've had our differences. It's going to be tough; they say the first car is always hard to leave behind, but I will have to be strong. I've already started something with the corvair, it's taken me places. We've had our first fight, and we've worked it out. I think this is the start of something good.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
It got bigger
We had a sort of a script writing clinic thingy in drama, and we were charged with writing ten lines of a script for a show that clearly took place in the future, and something seemingly impossible had to happen, but it had to be possible to stage.
One and Two are holed up in a moderately small space. It is clear that they are hiding from something
ONE: You think it's gone?
TWO: I don't know. I don't hear anything
ONE: Take a look outside.
TWO: Why do I have to look? Why don't you do it?
ONE: I'm One. You're Two. You have to do what I say.
TWO: What if it gets me?
ONE: It would be worse if it got me.
Two seems to accept this logic. Two slides th door open slightly, looks out, suppresses a scream & quickly shuts the door
ONE: What? What did you see?
TWO: (Panting)It... got... Bigger... I think it saw me...
ONE: What do you mean? How much bigger?
A loud banging is heard off stage. Possibly a roar.
TWO: A LOT Bigger
So that's my crappy handfull of lines. feel free to make fun of it, though I think I've got an idea for an entire show based on the relationship between One and Two. Probably something to do with seniority=/=superiority.
One and Two are holed up in a moderately small space. It is clear that they are hiding from something
ONE: You think it's gone?
TWO: I don't know. I don't hear anything
ONE: Take a look outside.
TWO: Why do I have to look? Why don't you do it?
ONE: I'm One. You're Two. You have to do what I say.
TWO: What if it gets me?
ONE: It would be worse if it got me.
Two seems to accept this logic. Two slides th door open slightly, looks out, suppresses a scream & quickly shuts the door
ONE: What? What did you see?
TWO: (Panting)It... got... Bigger... I think it saw me...
ONE: What do you mean? How much bigger?
A loud banging is heard off stage. Possibly a roar.
TWO: A LOT Bigger
So that's my crappy handfull of lines. feel free to make fun of it, though I think I've got an idea for an entire show based on the relationship between One and Two. Probably something to do with seniority=/=superiority.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Adventures in Keyboarding: Continued
An essay, the rubric of which only defined the number of words and the topic "Spring Break":
You have exactly one week to do what ever you want. What do you do with it? You certainly can’t waste it; a whole week is valuable time. Yet, while this time is too valuable to waste, it is a whole lot more time than one has been accustomed to since winter. Without careful planning, the entire week could go by and no one would ever know it was there to begin with. So what does one do with a free week? I have compiled several possible plans to make your spring break more manageable. These plans will be listed in order of level of detail. Some of these plans are more complicated than others, and it is recommended that you try the more traditional plans first. If you find these too simple, feel free to move on to more elaborate arrangements.
Level 1: Simple vacation
The most common spring break plans are small excursions to a beach, park, or other kind of resort. The simple vacation may last through the entirety of the week, or just a couple days of it, depending on funding. When planning a simple vacation, the following must be taken into consideration: where it is you are going, how long you’re going to stay there, and means of transportation. Depending on these three factors, other questions of packing and how much money to carry will arise, but those details will vary from situation to situation. The simple vacation is not for everyone; if you are uncomfortable with simple relaxation, please try one of the other plans.
Level 2: Party
Some would argue that a party is simpler than a vacation, but this is a common misconception. Preparation for a party is much more demanding than it seems. Unlike a family vacation or short excursion with a close friend or loved one, a party involves a high level of political intrigue. When preparing for a party, the most important detail, aside from food, is who is coming to the party. With limited resources, one has a limited number of possible guests, and one must choose carefully who to leave out. Even when party resources are abundant, tough decisions are replaced with possible miscalculations, and someone can be left out by accident. This situation is even worse than the former, as one left out of a party at which a large number of people attended is likely to be more sour than one left out of a small, exclusive group. When entertaining a large number of people, one must also maintain a level of etiquette unknown by many who have attempted the position of host or hostess. A host must be sure of the comfort of all guests, aware of how much food or drink is available, and must be ready repair any damages that are commonly made by large concentrations of people having a good time. The efficiency of parties is debatable, depending on the level of planning and the after-math. If you spend half your break preparing for a party, one night actually throwing it, and the rest of break cleaning up after it, then the party was not very efficient.
Level 3: Wacky adventure
This is a quite complicated venture that requires luck, timing, and almost no experience at all. In fact, the less experience one has with wacky adventures, the better. The actual events that constitute a wacky adventure will vary considerable, but they must be zany, absurd, silly, or unimaginable in some way for it to be considered as “wacky.” No possible adventures will be listed here, as that would ruin the wackiness of any adventure you may have. If you really want to learn more about wacky adventures, check out Madcap Hijinks for Idiots at your local library. If you are uncomfortable with making things up as you go along, please consider any of the other plans before attempting a wacky adventure.
Level 4: Organized Crime
Caution: For Experts Only! Illegal operations of any kind require a high level of organization and pre-planning, and to be able to pull off any sort of heist in one week is a challenge for only the greatest of minds. Possible crimes include, but are not limited to: casino robbery, jewelry heist, mass-burglary, safecracking, bank robbery (a classic favorite) and museum heists. Most thefts will involve the manipulation of some form of security, be it laser motion detectors, automated or live guards, or heavy containment units. More complicated jobs will have more than one kind of security system combined, adding to the danger level, as well as the pay-off. For the protection of the author, no successful plans may be listed in this volume. Good Luck!
Boredom lies crushed and defeated by my mighty hand!
You have exactly one week to do what ever you want. What do you do with it? You certainly can’t waste it; a whole week is valuable time. Yet, while this time is too valuable to waste, it is a whole lot more time than one has been accustomed to since winter. Without careful planning, the entire week could go by and no one would ever know it was there to begin with. So what does one do with a free week? I have compiled several possible plans to make your spring break more manageable. These plans will be listed in order of level of detail. Some of these plans are more complicated than others, and it is recommended that you try the more traditional plans first. If you find these too simple, feel free to move on to more elaborate arrangements.
Level 1: Simple vacation
The most common spring break plans are small excursions to a beach, park, or other kind of resort. The simple vacation may last through the entirety of the week, or just a couple days of it, depending on funding. When planning a simple vacation, the following must be taken into consideration: where it is you are going, how long you’re going to stay there, and means of transportation. Depending on these three factors, other questions of packing and how much money to carry will arise, but those details will vary from situation to situation. The simple vacation is not for everyone; if you are uncomfortable with simple relaxation, please try one of the other plans.
Level 2: Party
Some would argue that a party is simpler than a vacation, but this is a common misconception. Preparation for a party is much more demanding than it seems. Unlike a family vacation or short excursion with a close friend or loved one, a party involves a high level of political intrigue. When preparing for a party, the most important detail, aside from food, is who is coming to the party. With limited resources, one has a limited number of possible guests, and one must choose carefully who to leave out. Even when party resources are abundant, tough decisions are replaced with possible miscalculations, and someone can be left out by accident. This situation is even worse than the former, as one left out of a party at which a large number of people attended is likely to be more sour than one left out of a small, exclusive group. When entertaining a large number of people, one must also maintain a level of etiquette unknown by many who have attempted the position of host or hostess. A host must be sure of the comfort of all guests, aware of how much food or drink is available, and must be ready repair any damages that are commonly made by large concentrations of people having a good time. The efficiency of parties is debatable, depending on the level of planning and the after-math. If you spend half your break preparing for a party, one night actually throwing it, and the rest of break cleaning up after it, then the party was not very efficient.
Level 3: Wacky adventure
This is a quite complicated venture that requires luck, timing, and almost no experience at all. In fact, the less experience one has with wacky adventures, the better. The actual events that constitute a wacky adventure will vary considerable, but they must be zany, absurd, silly, or unimaginable in some way for it to be considered as “wacky.” No possible adventures will be listed here, as that would ruin the wackiness of any adventure you may have. If you really want to learn more about wacky adventures, check out Madcap Hijinks for Idiots at your local library. If you are uncomfortable with making things up as you go along, please consider any of the other plans before attempting a wacky adventure.
Level 4: Organized Crime
Caution: For Experts Only! Illegal operations of any kind require a high level of organization and pre-planning, and to be able to pull off any sort of heist in one week is a challenge for only the greatest of minds. Possible crimes include, but are not limited to: casino robbery, jewelry heist, mass-burglary, safecracking, bank robbery (a classic favorite) and museum heists. Most thefts will involve the manipulation of some form of security, be it laser motion detectors, automated or live guards, or heavy containment units. More complicated jobs will have more than one kind of security system combined, adding to the danger level, as well as the pay-off. For the protection of the author, no successful plans may be listed in this volume. Good Luck!
Boredom lies crushed and defeated by my mighty hand!
Adventures in Keyboarding
In such a stifling class as keyboarding/documenting, one must make every attempt at silliness as possible. Here is an example of my escape from typing tedium. More will come as a feel like posting them.
A rare open-ended question in a typing exercise:
A student sees a designer jacket hanging over the door of a locker. No one seems to be around. The student tries it on; it looks great. He likes it and wants it. He reasons that if the owner can afford an expensive jacket, he can afford another one. So quickly the student puts it in his gym bag and walks away.
The student is absolutely within his rights for taking the jacket. One’s immediate reaction to this is one of disdain, but what is an expensive jacket to a rich owner? Clearly, it was unimportant enough to leave it lying around in a locker room where anyone of loose morals may pick it up. Suppose it didn’t belong to the one who left it there? Suppose it was borrowed, and now some poor guy has to pay for a brand new jacket that he was only borrowing for one reason or another? Well, that’s tough. He should have taken more responsibility with something that did not belong to him. Aside from the responsibility issues of the previous owner, one must also look at the moral vanity of ownership of the jacket. The student-gone-thief has actually done the owner a favor in taking away something so unimportant as a designer jacket. What is the significance of a jacket, anyway? Must one wear expensive clothing to be respected? In the loss of this utterly insignificant symbol of our materialistic culture, perhaps the previous owner learns that designer or name-brand clothing is not important, a valuable moral lesson.
A rare open-ended question in a typing exercise:
A student sees a designer jacket hanging over the door of a locker. No one seems to be around. The student tries it on; it looks great. He likes it and wants it. He reasons that if the owner can afford an expensive jacket, he can afford another one. So quickly the student puts it in his gym bag and walks away.
The student is absolutely within his rights for taking the jacket. One’s immediate reaction to this is one of disdain, but what is an expensive jacket to a rich owner? Clearly, it was unimportant enough to leave it lying around in a locker room where anyone of loose morals may pick it up. Suppose it didn’t belong to the one who left it there? Suppose it was borrowed, and now some poor guy has to pay for a brand new jacket that he was only borrowing for one reason or another? Well, that’s tough. He should have taken more responsibility with something that did not belong to him. Aside from the responsibility issues of the previous owner, one must also look at the moral vanity of ownership of the jacket. The student-gone-thief has actually done the owner a favor in taking away something so unimportant as a designer jacket. What is the significance of a jacket, anyway? Must one wear expensive clothing to be respected? In the loss of this utterly insignificant symbol of our materialistic culture, perhaps the previous owner learns that designer or name-brand clothing is not important, a valuable moral lesson.
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