Customer Service.

Another random dialogue just sort of popped into my head. It could probably be better, but whatever.

The setting is a well-kept barbecue. The walls are lined with posters promoting chili, peppers, sauces, Texas, and various western things. The menu board above the serving line displays meat and side options, as well as a few specials and differing order sizes. Next to the serving line is a shelf with sauces, powders and meat rubs for sale. A customer walks in, examines the menu board, and makes his choice.

Customer: I'd like to order a pound of bulk meat.

Server: Al'right, what kind of meat would you like?

Customer: Well, I can't really decide. Could I have that split into a quarter pound of chicken, sausage, brisket, and pork?

Server: Yes, but I'll have to charge you $5 extra.

Customer: WHAT? Why?

Server: Because you're ordering 4 regular meat portions. It's not bulk meat.

Customer: Yes it is! I'm ordering a pound of bulk meat, I just want it split.

Server: ...Do you know what bulk means?

There is an ackward silence as the server finishes the order.

Server: Okay, what kind of sauce do you want with this?

Customer: I'd like the spicy.

The server places a large, eight ounce container on the counter.

Customer: Could I have another one of those?

Server: (sighing) Yes, but I'll have to charge you.

Customer:Why? The menu says all orders come with sauce on the side.

Server: Yes, all orders come with sauce on the side. No where does it say, however, that sauce comes on all sides.

Customer: Don't get smart with me kid, your job is to give me what I order.

Server: Look, we sell bottles of this stuff here. I can't give you all the sauce you want for free, it's economically unsound.

Customer: Hasn't anyone ever told you that the customer's always right?

Server: (under his breath) Not if the customer's a moron.

Customer: I Heard That! I don't have to take this, I'm leaving. You've just lost a customer!

Server: Not much of a loss if it's a customer that doesn't want to pay for anything