Inadvertedly Submitted by Jenna Smith

In an online correspondence with the Valedictorian of Tech's class of 2005, a few amusing stories came into being. I have posted them here, because I think they're funny. If you don't, you probably stopped reading my posts a while ago, so I'm not too worried about it.

Jenna Wrote:
So... once upon a time, there was this guy. His name was Marten. And last Wednesdsay, he flew (yes, like a bird, with his own wings) to a distant island where they are currently filming the next Survivor episode. After suggesting a contest idea to Jeff Probst (lightsaber tree battles) he continued his trip and visited the continent of Antarctica. There, he became a foreign exchange student with a family of unable-to-fly-but-still-noble-birds (they think penguin is discrimnatory). He learned how to fish and found the bad-Santa's workshop located on the South Pole (for everything there must be balance). He then took his plane and flew around the world so fast that he went forward in time. There, he bought a pocket watch that made him invisible. Then, he flew backward a long, long time so that he went back to the beginning of Episode three filming. His pocket watch let him watch all of the filming of Episode Three without anyone being the wiser, but! during the last take, he accidentally dropped it and appeared right between Padme and Anakin. George Lucas found out what happened, kicked him off the set, then started filming all over again, completely changing the plot line. Afraid of what else might happen, he finally went back to his own time and place. He thought everyone would ask him where he got his "I was kicked off the Episode Three set and all I got was this lousy, yet cool, T-Shirt" shirt, but everyone else only saw the official No-Pants Day shirt. "Why are you wearing that shirt, Marten?" they asked, "No Pants Day was yesterday. Where were you?" Ahh... if only they knew.

I Wrote:

I only wish last Wednesday were that interesting, but sadly it was slightly less exciting than that. I sort of robbed a bank. Don't tell my mother, she still doesn't know. I discovered my super powers earlier last week, and decided to test them by braking into a bank safe. I didn't actually plan to steal anything; I can only use my powers for good. However, it is possible that others may develop similar abilities, and I figured that the traditional targets of super villains would save quite a bit of money revamping their security systems if the first attack came from some one who wasn't going to take any of their money.

She Wrote:

Can you imagine the life of a pair of sunglasses? It must be weird. First, you start off in a factory where you're born. Then, you are boxed up with all your brothers and sisters. After a long time in the dark, a humanoid lets light in, then sets you on a rack where there are fluoresent lights all around. A weird guy picks you up and puts you on his ugly big nose. Look, there's a wart! He puts you back on the rack, then a girl comes over and trys you on. She takes you off and pays for you. You have a new home. The girl wears you in the car and outside. You spend many, many hours perched atop her head. You get tossed aside sometimes, but she keeps track of you even as you travel overseas and through the country. It's a good life.

More coming later, unless she gets mad that I posted these and stops writing. Hopefully she won't mind.