Adventures in Keyboarding: Continued

An essay, the rubric of which only defined the number of words and the topic "Spring Break":

You have exactly one week to do what ever you want. What do you do with it? You certainly can’t waste it; a whole week is valuable time. Yet, while this time is too valuable to waste, it is a whole lot more time than one has been accustomed to since winter. Without careful planning, the entire week could go by and no one would ever know it was there to begin with. So what does one do with a free week? I have compiled several possible plans to make your spring break more manageable. These plans will be listed in order of level of detail. Some of these plans are more complicated than others, and it is recommended that you try the more traditional plans first. If you find these too simple, feel free to move on to more elaborate arrangements.

Level 1: Simple vacation

The most common spring break plans are small excursions to a beach, park, or other kind of resort. The simple vacation may last through the entirety of the week, or just a couple days of it, depending on funding. When planning a simple vacation, the following must be taken into consideration: where it is you are going, how long you’re going to stay there, and means of transportation. Depending on these three factors, other questions of packing and how much money to carry will arise, but those details will vary from situation to situation. The simple vacation is not for everyone; if you are uncomfortable with simple relaxation, please try one of the other plans.

Level 2: Party

Some would argue that a party is simpler than a vacation, but this is a common misconception. Preparation for a party is much more demanding than it seems. Unlike a family vacation or short excursion with a close friend or loved one, a party involves a high level of political intrigue. When preparing for a party, the most important detail, aside from food, is who is coming to the party. With limited resources, one has a limited number of possible guests, and one must choose carefully who to leave out. Even when party resources are abundant, tough decisions are replaced with possible miscalculations, and someone can be left out by accident. This situation is even worse than the former, as one left out of a party at which a large number of people attended is likely to be more sour than one left out of a small, exclusive group. When entertaining a large number of people, one must also maintain a level of etiquette unknown by many who have attempted the position of host or hostess. A host must be sure of the comfort of all guests, aware of how much food or drink is available, and must be ready repair any damages that are commonly made by large concentrations of people having a good time. The efficiency of parties is debatable, depending on the level of planning and the after-math. If you spend half your break preparing for a party, one night actually throwing it, and the rest of break cleaning up after it, then the party was not very efficient.

Level 3: Wacky adventure

This is a quite complicated venture that requires luck, timing, and almost no experience at all. In fact, the less experience one has with wacky adventures, the better. The actual events that constitute a wacky adventure will vary considerable, but they must be zany, absurd, silly, or unimaginable in some way for it to be considered as “wacky.” No possible adventures will be listed here, as that would ruin the wackiness of any adventure you may have. If you really want to learn more about wacky adventures, check out Madcap Hijinks for Idiots at your local library. If you are uncomfortable with making things up as you go along, please consider any of the other plans before attempting a wacky adventure.

Level 4: Organized Crime

Caution: For Experts Only! Illegal operations of any kind require a high level of organization and pre-planning, and to be able to pull off any sort of heist in one week is a challenge for only the greatest of minds. Possible crimes include, but are not limited to: casino robbery, jewelry heist, mass-burglary, safecracking, bank robbery (a classic favorite) and museum heists. Most thefts will involve the manipulation of some form of security, be it laser motion detectors, automated or live guards, or heavy containment units. More complicated jobs will have more than one kind of security system combined, adding to the danger level, as well as the pay-off. For the protection of the author, no successful plans may be listed in this volume. Good Luck!

Boredom lies crushed and defeated by my mighty hand!